A friend recently asked if it is true that the Japanese hardly use the word for “no”, despite having one in their language.

No – iie いいえ

They certainly do have a word for “no”, which is いいえ (iie). However, it is true that it is rarely used. The Japanese live in an honorific society and publicly value the thoughts and feelings of others – usually above their own.

That’s why, for example, Japanese meetings tend to take a long time yet don’t often reach the best conclusion. The time in meetings is often spent listening to the most senior person, who lectures the others on his or her opinion/idea. The remaining meeting members then nod in agreement unless there is a big problem with the suggested plan. Even so, if the senior speaker were to continue along his or her track anyway, the opposing speaker would probably give up and let him or her have their way.

There is usually no to-and-fro with contradictory ideas in Japanese meetings and no one talks over each other. Everybody patiently waits their turn to speak or hopes to not get noticed.

Why No “No”?

Saying “no” is seen as too strong in Japan. The Japanese like to stand as a group and hold the same or similar opinions as everyone else. If you say “no” to someone, it’s almost seen as a direct defiance to their request or feelings.

What Do They Say Instead of “No”?

What do they say instead? Let’s go through a few situations and see how you would say it in English and Japanese.

Situation A

“Would you like some tea?”

English answer: “No, thank you.”

Japanese answer: “I’m okay.” (“Thank you” is generally also inferred from the tone).

The Japanese have a very useful word, which is 大丈夫です (daijoubu des). It literally means “okay”, but the Japanese tend to use it in the negative rather than positive sense.

For example, when asked if you’d like a plastic bag at a shop, you should say “daijoubu des”, and it means “no, thank you” rather than “okay”. It’s similar to when we say “no, I’m okay, thanks” in English. Be sure not to confuse it with “yes, okay” because it doesn’t have that meaning.

I certainly have been there, done that and got the ‘don’t say daijoubu all the time’ t-shirt.

Situation B

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

English answer: “No, I don’t.”

Japanese answer: “I don’t.” いないです (inai des).

If there is a verb you can use that includes the negative connotation, then you typically don’t say “no”.

“Are there any carrots in the bowl?”

English answer: “No.”

Japanese answer: “There aren’t.” ないです (nai des).

Situation C

“I’m tired tonight. Shall we get a takeaway?”

English answer: “No, I’ll cook something.”

Japanese answer: “Nice idea, but I was thinking about maybe cooking tonight.”

As you can see, the Japanese are ever diplomatic and try as hard as they can not to upset the other person or make their opinions seem invalid.

Situation D

“So you don’t like this paint choice then?”

English answer: “No, I don’t, sorry.”

Japanese answer: “It’s not like that. I think there might be better options out there.”

“It’s not like that” そんなことないです (sonna koto nai des) is often used in Japanese to affirm negativity, but indirectly.

Related Article: Basic Japanese for Travellers

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No “No”, Please

As you can see, the Japanese tend to beat around the bush a lot. It takes a while to get used to it, and oh, how I’ve struggled, but being indirect is just a habit one must learn.

またね！

Jade xxx